Since venturing into the world of online dating, I’ve perused hundreds (okay, maybe thousands) of online profiles.I find myself consistently baffled by what I find in many men’s online profiles. (Picture me scratching my head while cocking my head slightly to the side as I squint at my laptop screen). So, I’ve taken the liberty of writing a generic letter to all men who are searching for quality women online with the hope that they will clean up their collective acts, and then we can all get on with the business of finding our one true love.
Dear Mr. Online Dater,
Since you are trying to attract women, not men, I am baffled by the number of fish photos I see on your profile. I do not care, (nor do I believe most women care), that you caught a 16 inch smallmouth bass. Delete these photos, now.
A brief mention of your love of sports is fine, but again, you are attempting to appeal to women, not your buddies, thus boasting that you spend every single weekend watching sports, and selecting the username “Iluvdabears13,” “#1Hawksfan,” or “Cubbies4life,” sends the wrong message, plain and simple.
Also, posting 13 photos of the last White Sox game you attended without you in any of them doesn’t appeal to me, or most women I’d guess.
Number one rule of online dating: know your audience.I can’t say it any clearer than this:
Do not post any selfies looking into your bathroom mirror, period.
Seeing a man standing next to an open toilet, or even a toilet paper dispenser is an immediate turn off.
Take a selfie the way that everyone else in the world does, by selecting the reverse camera view on your smartphone, extending your arm, pointing and clicking.
I recently decided to join the ranks of millions of midlife online daters and joined the world of Match.com.I was more than a little excited (as well as somewhat nervous) about the prospect of finding someone to date (after more than a decade of self-imposed “I’m-busy-raising-my-son” dating hiatus). Before I could find my one true love though, I had to create my personal online profile. And because it’s been years since I really thought of myself in any objective way, describing myself in a manner that would 1) accurately represent who I really am, and 2) attract suitors, was no easy task.
On most online dating websites the profile consists of a series of practical questions, such as basic demographic information like age, marital status, education level, cultural background, religion and several questions that allow a narrative response where members get to expound on what their friends have told them about themselves.
So I poured myself a glass of wine, and settled in for what I thought was going to be about 5 or 10 minutes of tedium before I got to the juicy part—picking the man of my dreams.
Read the rest on Elephantjournal.com
When my son left for college this fall, I decided it was time to consider the possibility of dating again.I made this decision because I’m lonely (I know it’s very unfashionable to admit this); whenever I see cute couples walking down the street holding hands I find myself tempted to run them off the road with my car; and my most compelling reason, I don’t want to die alone.
I’d been so busy working full-time, raising my son as a single parent, and going to school that I just didn’t have time to give dating much serious consideration, but when I found myself alone after so many years of controlled chaos I realized that I had a choice—I could passively allow life to happen to me (i.e., gain 50 lbs. while laying on the couch watching BravoTV), or I could take proactive control of my life by grabbing the proverbial bull by the horns, and carefully and considerately, craft the life I want to live.
And since I am petrified that the inevitability posed by Nora Ephron’s character Harry to his new friend Sally, (When Harry Met Sally) may actually be my reality:
“Suppose nothing happens to you. Suppose you lived out your whole life and nothing happens, you never meet anybody, you never become anything, and finally you die in one of those New York [aka Chicago] deaths which nobody notices for two weeks until the smell drifts into the hallway,”
I decided to take the plunge that millions of other adults in midlife are taking, and I joined Match.com.
Read the rest here on Elephantjournal.com
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This is a blog for middle-aged women, like me, who want to live a life of increased authenticity, and greater well-being, with fewer masks and a lot more fun.