I'm Exhausted!

By Michelle Martin, PhD, MSW

What the heck is going on in our world?! Correction: What the heck is going on in our country?! In my ongoing attempt to keep up with current events, maintain my full-time job, keep a reasonable social calendar, and not neglect my family too much, it's a miracle I'm getting any sleep at all. Forget yoga, forget meditation, and absolutely forget any sort of regular grocery shopping. 

I don't believe I'm alone in my exhaustion. I believe there is a collective pall that has descended upon most of us; a fog blanketing our brains; a rhinoceros sitting on our chests. 

​There isn't much we can do about the state of our country though (other than vote and care about other human beings). I know I, for one, have limited power to effect change in the culture wars. I can't magically change our president (despite signing all those petitions), or hand pick a Supreme Court Justice (again, petitions). I can't add a few more hours to my day, or tack on a few more days at the end of the month. I've yet to find someone willing to cook for me, or show up on a whim and massage my aching shoulders. And I certainly can't control all of the divisive Facebook posts that keep popping up on my newsfeed from friends who are attempting (fruitlessly) to convinced a friend of their friend of their friend's sister's husband's cousin, to see the light. 

But here's what I can do, and here's what you can do too.

I can stop participating in futile experiences that only serve to poison my soul. Yes, that's one of my newer epiphanies. Certain types of interactions are very much like drinking poison. And while we all have to drink a little poison now and then, we certainly shouldn't make it a staple of our diets.

• So rather than engaging in endless debates with complete strangers on Facebook, whose minds will never change, we can focus on engaging in productive discussions with reasonable people (you know, the folks who still love people more than they love conspiracy theories). 
• And rather than  watching hours upon hours (upon hours) of cable news every evening, and sinking even further into a pit of despair, we can watch more "Anne with an E" and  "Sense8" on Netflix (and the OA, and Ozark, and Travelers, and the Crown).
• And rather than giving much-needed advice to people who haven't asked for it because they're generally negative people who just like to complain, we can inform them that the era of "advice-free venting" is officially over (want my ear? well then you're going to get my opinion too).
• And rather than spending hours reading political posts on Facebook, and feeling a constant sense of outrage, without moving my legs once the entire time, we can limit our screen time, and take a walk in nature (and by nature, of course I mean on a bug-free sidewalk with an ocean view). 
• And rather than feeling guilty because we aren't doing enough, we can stop what we're doing right  now and go get a mani-pedi (yes, men too, although not at my nail salon because men's feet kind of gross me out).
• And rather than expecting praise from people who are notorious for not paying attention to our lives or our needs, we can stop going to the hardware store for milk  (get it? Hardware stores don't sell milk!).
• And rather than eating tortilla chips and salsa for dinner every night because who has time to cook? We can buy an Instant Pot™ and make a real meal (seriously, these things are great). 

We're going to get through all of this ick one way or another. One way involves weight gain, wrinkles and an anvil in our gut, and the other involves increased wisdom, a lower pulse rate and nice nails. You decide. I already have.