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I'm Exhausted!

10/2/2018

1 Comment

 
By Michelle Martin, PhD, MSW
Picture
What the heck is going on in our world?! Correction: What the heck is going on in our country?! In my ongoing attempt to keep up with current events, maintain my full-time job, keep a reasonable social calendar, and not neglect my family too much, it's a miracle I'm getting any sleep at all. Forget yoga, forget meditation, and absolutely forget any sort of regular grocery shopping. 
I don't believe I'm alone in my exhaustion. I believe there is a collective pall that has descended upon most of us; a fog blanketing our brains; a rhinoceros sitting on our chests. 

​There isn't much we can do about the state of our country though (other than vote and care about other human beings). I know I, for one, have limited power to effect change in the culture wars. I can't magically change our president (despite signing all those petitions), or hand pick a Supreme Court Justice (again, petitions). I can't add a few more hours to my day, or tack on a few more days at the end of the month. I've yet to find someone willing to cook for me, or show up on a whim and massage my aching shoulders. And I certainly can't control all of the divisive Facebook posts that keep popping up on my newsfeed from friends who are attempting (fruitlessly) to convinced a friend of their friend of their friend's sister's husband's cousin, to see the light. 


But here's what I can do, and here's what you can do too.

I can stop participating in futile experiences that only serve to poison my soul. Yes, that's one of my newer epiphanies. Certain types of interactions are very much like drinking poison. And while we all have to drink a little poison now and then, we certainly shouldn't make it a staple of our diets.

  • So rather than engaging in endless debates with complete strangers on Facebook, whose minds will never change, we can focus on engaging in productive discussions with reasonable people (you know, the folks who still love people more than they love conspiracy theories). 
  • And rather than  watching hours upon hours (upon hours) of cable news every evening, and sinking even further into a pit of despair, we can watch more "Anne with an E" and  "Sense8" on Netflix (and the OA, and Ozark, and Travelers, and the Crown).
  • And rather than giving much-needed advice to people who haven't asked for it because they're generally negative people who just like to complain, we can inform them that the era of "advice-free venting" is officially over (want my ear? well then you're going to get my opinion too).
  • And rather than spending hours reading political posts on Facebook, and feeling a constant sense of outrage, without moving my legs once the entire time, we can limit our screen time, and take a walk in nature (and by nature, of course I mean on a bug-free sidewalk with an ocean view). 
  • And rather than feeling guilty because we aren't doing enough, we can stop what we're doing right  now and go get a mani-pedi (yes, men too, although not at my nail salon because men's feet kind of gross me out).
  • And rather than expecting praise from people who are notorious for not paying attention to our lives or our needs, we can stop going to the hardware store for milk  (get it? Hardware stores don't sell milk!).
  • And rather than eating tortilla chips and salsa for dinner every night because who has time to cook? We can buy an Instant Pot™ and make a real meal (seriously, these things are great). 

We're going to get through all of this ick one way or another. One way involves weight gain, wrinkles and an anvil in our gut, and the other involves increased wisdom, a lower pulse rate and nice nails. You decide. I already have.









 


1 Comment
Bob Fox
10/3/2018 11:47:56 pm

Ahh Michelle,
It is so lovely to hear your voice again. The political and social blogs - so well and exhaustingly researched are the intellectual postings which stir in us the outrage or sadness as appropriate by the subject. But this blog is your voice, and it is absolutely correct. As someone who has decades of experience singing in choirs, I understand and have been reminding people how important it is to step back, refresh, and come back in. It is tempting to make it quick to avoid that feeling of abandoning one's mates but it has to be long enough to allow others the same opportunity.
I started reading newspapers back in the 50's (ok...comics and sports), but eventually began consuming more of the paper and then tv news. Enough so that I was appalled by my dad's ambivalence about the 1960 election. Aboard the Oriskany in Vietnam, I had a subscription to the SF Chronicle which arrived in the mail about every 5-6 days...I would pass them on when finished...best read papers anywhere. In the 80's, early in the morning Linda Ellerbee would give those of us who lived strange hours the news of the day. God how I loved that woman...she had a way of looking at you and her eyes would say, "we both know what's REALLY going on here right?". A very sly look with just a slight upturn of the corners of her mouth...the discerning listener can hear that in your writing also. And of course her tag line which said so much in so few words, "...and so it goes."
And Dear Rachel who has been bringing the scoop for dedicated newsies along with that same touch of humor...dysfunction junction seems to have disappeared along with her Fri nite cocktails...it just isn't funny anymore.
My lifelong appetite for consuming the news has been dwindling -almost coming to a complete halt. I just can't do it anymore. I just can't.
I have expressed the notion that the heart is a marvelous organ. It is capable of expanding when love is introduced to it, and that continues...more love- bigger heart, more love -more expansion. The converse is not true, eventually when scars are introduced- one on top of another- the heart says...'no more'. It needs a break to heal. The best way to heal is with lots of fresh air. Thank you Michelle, for the reminder that pace is crucial and that we sometimes need that break...I had somehow let that slip my mind.
I know that I need a week or two of fresh air to enable me to come back revitalized for the final push. And yes, I know someone else who more than deserves a break. When I get up at 530 AM and see that someone has just finishing posting online and still has classes to teach that day...I'm prone to yelling at the screen, "Stop that! Stop that right now...you are too important to too many people...you need some sleep!"

I hope you're able to take a nice long walk down a bug free sidewalk (good luck with that) along side the ocean. Maybe take along a fun book to read at the beach...nothing of any signicance (altho fun IS important). It will be wonderful to hear your voice again when you come back.

Bless you,
Bob Fox

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